The Elusive Elevator
by boandpop
Summary: Snape is going through his routine stalking of the Gryffindor Students 'territory'. Until of course a giant set of metal doors catch his eye. Alongside it a small panel ladened with buttons. ONESHOT


**A/N: At Fiction Alley there was a challenge to write a story from this paragraph. This was a stupid venting one, I'll do a real, angsty one after this.**

_**In Hogwarts, there is a door. This door can lead anywhere. It can go to any room in the castle, it can go to anywhere in Britain or on Earth. It can even go to other worlds or alternate dimensions. All a person has to do is find this door, and it will take them to wherever they need to be - whether it is their own wish to be there, or destiny's wish.**_

Snape was on his nightly patrol of the seventh floor corridor, as usual. His lengthy, cape-like cloak swirling around behind him. Miraculously, just stopping before hitting over vases and statues, though they were all securely fastened into place since the incident when Peeves started hurling them at passer-by until they cracked, the statues and vases that is.

The Gryffindors were often out this time of night, causing trouble, breaking out of the school and saving someone who, in a painfully obvious way, did not require any help, in any shape or form. Though, it was one of the better parts of the Gryffindor's to try something stupid, get caught then punishment was unlimited. He felt an almost smile-like expression glide across his face, but ended in a smug grin. He never ever smiled, and everyone knew that quite well.

Turning a corridor he spotted something oddly unfitting for such an old, extravagant building. A large silver sheet, no, TWO large silver sheets of metal, in an indent in the wall. There was a small panel full of tiny scratched out symbols, that resembled numbers and some letters. Snape glowered at the door and stalked towards it, hands balled into fist. 'What the bloody hell, is this-' But even before he could finish his thought, he was astonished, as the door opened, with a small hiss.

A soft, annoying melody flowed through the door, as though played on a cheap muggle contraption called – what was it? Keyboard or something. Well that, and a piccolo. The doors opened wider, and a bright neon light burst out of the minimal crack between both pieces of rubber, that edged the 'doors'.

"Seventh Floor, Gryffindor Common Room. Also the entrance to the Astronomy Towe-" An extremely familiar voice rang out of the door. Two people walked out of the door, arm-in-arm, acting rather like they were trying to see you could hold the other tighter.

"Whoops," Said the faceless, voice from within the doors, pressing the button to shut the entrance with a small pinging noise. The two, or well, the couple were completely oblivious to Snape, and walked until they went right into him. The girl squealed, as did the boy, and they ran in opposite directions. Snape stood remotely slack-jawed, (because well, he also was never slack-jawed, just like he never smiled), looking in the two directions they'd bolted. He'd deal with them two later, as he'd managed to figure out who they were. "Malfoy and Granger" He shook his head in the utmost disgust at the thought. Malfoy had been going downhill since his father's capture, and he was not about to try and act fatherly to Draco.

Pressing the button that looked oddly like a 'Seven', he waited for the doors to re-open. Much to his annoyance he was left waiting there half the night, and knew that, that meant so many Gryffindors had probably done their little rescues and such, leaving him plenty of extra unwanted time tomorrow to give out detentions during potions. That was always a hard task, trying to nit-pick everything. But finally the doors re-opened, showing a boy in uniform, "Hello and welcome to the Hogwarts Elevator, please step… inside… and…" The boy stopped talking and looked shocked, and dropped his business tone. He was even more petrified than the young couple that had exited.

Snape looked down at the boy and attempted to say something as the doors whizzed shut, slamming his finger and half his head. The 'f' word was teetering on the tip of his tongue but held it in, to the best of his abilities. So, in other words, yelled it as loudly as he possibly could. His cheeks were turning a deep, violent reddish-purple, as he pressed the button once more.

This time he kept a few feet away from it, just in case something happened again, like it just had. The doors slid softly open, this time showing a girl, aged around 16, with bright cherry red hair. Ginny Weasley. Though she was not in the uniform that the boy had been in. She looked out of the elevator, taking a second to register what was going on with the outside in the dark, where there was also swearing abound.

She noticed the hot-headed Snape and gulped, diving for the "Shut Door" button. Snape shook his head and also dove, (though once again, he did not dive, it was more of a slink), towards the doors and tried to get into the elevator, and to the bottom of this 'Hogwarts Elevator" jazz.

The doors closed just short of his hand and he was left on his knees, with a face-plant into the gateway. He got off his knee, rubbing his eyes and nose. "This is outrageous!" He proclaimed, glaring at the door. He pressed the button again, and a small message flashed across the door, in the form of a note, which instantly stuck itself to the door.

_Dear Elevator User,_

Due to difficulties (IE, Snape's shnoze jamming the door up), we will not be arriving at and/or picking up anyone up from, the seventh floor. Thank you for trying to choose the simpler way to get through the school without dealing with trick steps and fake doors. Have a fun night. Once again, we do sincerely apologies for any refunds that do not follow through.

Ginny Weasley, your lovely provider of this service.

All rights reserved to Ginny and Co. any mass reproductions are punishable by law. You fail to pay we shall administer Bat-Boogey Hexes, and frame you, so Snape sends you to detenti- Snape's jaw actually became slack this time, as he read this. Ripping it off the door, he blew it into flames with the touch of his wand. Another note popped out of nowhere, this time in bold handwriting, "**PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE**". Snape took one deep breath and stepped away from the door glaring down the corridor. Not to this floor, eh? He thought angrily, breaking into a slow run towards the Grand Staircases. He'd get to the bottom of this. 

_Though when he arrived on the 6th floor he found no sign of such an elevator. No possible places where it could be. And so, to this very day, he spends sleepless hours searching the school for the elusive Elevator. No one believed that he had found such a thing. He had burnt the only evidence of the Hogwarts Elevator. _


End file.
